She has no -idea- how much she means to me..

It's ironic.. People can say so much and mean so little, or say so little and mean so much. How people can say one thing that indirectly means another? Excuses and pedantic reasoning for not expressing one's self fully.

It's funny that these journals date back so far, and my feelings back further for someone when no one else I've met in my lifetime holds as much value. People say to move on, or would in a situation like mine, but what do you do to resist someone that you crave desiring you?

I've tried so hard to be mean and push her away over time. A lot of the time, she didn't even know. Assumes I was honestly being an ass. A jerk. Lord knows I've never purposely been mean to her to hurt her. That just isn't the kind of person I am.

In either case, shes worn and is wearing me down. I'm getting so weak.. Should I just submit? Do what it takes to -make- her mine as opposite to my futile resistance? That being said, the chase continues, and the person who knows what that means is the only one that matters.

I'm in love with everything that makes her, her. Cute, intelligent, beautiful, arrogant, stubborn, sweet, and unique. The list goes on. She's my first, my last, my everything. Quoting Barry White.. Rofl.. I must be lovesick and losing it.

I love you, beautiful. Eternally.